How to Talk With Your HIV Healthcare Provider

There is much more to your relationship with yourInternet or TV, ask your provider aboutthem. It may
HIVspecialist than medical appointments, discussingalso help you to bring a friend, family member,or
labresults, and medication prescriptions. Yourpartner with you to your appointments to help
partnership withyour provider is your #1 "weapon" inyouremember what was discussed.
your fight with HIV. Inorder to remain healthy, youIn my own practice with HIV positive patients, I
will need to have trust andconfidence in yourhave hadmany, many patients approach the first
provider. The decisions that you makeabout yourseveral visits as a
care are very important ones."trial". I do not consider this to be threatening
Approach your initial meeting with the provider as iforinsulting in any way. In fact, it is to be
youare "interviewing" him or her for the position.commended,because it shows that the patient is
Askquestions about his or her background andvery willing to be anactive part of his healthcare. I
experience andapproach to treatment (conservative,feel that my willingness tospend extra time with
"canned" approach vs.willingness to make a "custom"patients and really get to know themas people, and
treatment plan with you). Youshould feel that theget to know what is going on in their lives,has helped
provider is non-judgemental and willingto listen to andme to provide better care to them.I remember
discuss your treatment ideas and goals withyou. Theoneyoung man who was moving to my city from the
provider's role is to educate you so that togetheryouwest coast. Hecame in with his mother and sister for
can make informed and knowledgeable decisions, anda "tour" of theoffice. It was clear from the beginning
he orshe should be flexible enough to listen to andthat he wasconsidering 3 different sites for his HIV
adjust toyour needs. If your questions are met withcare, and that hewas "interviewing" me. The meeting
resistance orhostility, this is a sign that you need tolasted for over an hour,and he asked most of the
be wary andseriously consider if you will be able toquestions that I have brought up inthis post. My
establish atrusting, therapeutic relationship with thiswillingness to listen to him and to discusswhat was
person.important to him is what won him over, and
Be honest with the provider. In HIV care, theheinitiated and continued his care with me. It turns
provider needsto really know you as a person. Allout thathe had a bad experience with a provider in
aspects of yourlifestyle are important to your care.the pastregarding starting HIV medications. His CD4
Be honest about sexualpractices, the use of alcoholcell count
and recreational drugs, dailyhabits, your support(T-Cells) had been in the 190-250 range for several
system (family, friends, domesticpartners), how youyears,and his provider was insisting that he must
feel about having HIV and takingmedications, andstartmedications. The patient tried to express his
about any other treatments that you areusing or areconcerns, andwas pretty much told what he "had to
considering (such as vitamins, herbs,supplements,to". The provider didnot listen to the patient.
acupuncture, massage, etc.). If you feel thattheMy approach was different. Idiscussed the
provider is judgemental and that you have to holdprogression of HIV disease with him, thecurrent
backcertain information or "tell them what they wantDepartment of Health and Human Services (DHHS)
to hear",then you need to continue searching for theGuidelines for the treatment of HIV/AIDS- these
right provider.arerules:([ NOT entGL.pdf), and gave him the
You need to be totally honest with your providerinformationthat he needed to make an informed
andcomfortable asking him or her questions, even ifdecision. He discussedhis feelings and opinions with
they arepersonal and embarrassing to you.me. He felt well, led anactive life (work, volunteer
Consider a situation where you might be havingactivities, social life), wasin a monogamous, stable
troubletaking your HIV medications (maybe you arerelationship with his domesticpartner, ate right,
having sideeffects, have a new work schedule, orexercised regularly, got plenty ofsleep, and did not
are dealing withstressful events in your life). Yousmoke, drink alcohol, or use recreationaldrugs. He was
need to be able toopenly and honestly discuss thesevery knowledgeable about the side effects
issues with your provider,instead of saying what youandlong-term toxicities of the medications, and did
think they want to hear. Inreality, a good HIVnot want totake them. We agreed that he was
specialist wants to hear what is reallygoing on withmaking a reasonable,informed choice, and that we
you so that they can help you to stick towould briefly discuss the issueon every visit, and that
yourtreatment plan, remain health, and preventhe would consider takingmedications only if he
complications.became symptomatic of HIV disease
Do not be afraid to ask questions and take notes.(began not to feel well). This approach encouraged
Beforeyour appointments, write down your questionstotalhonesty from the patient, and it helped me to
and concerns,and take notes so that you canprovide thebest care for him.
remember what you are told.The bottom line is that you and your HIV provider
It is OK to ask for clarification of unclear ormust worktogether as a team to fight your HIV. You
confusingexplanations or medical terms - Keep askingneed to becomfortable with each other and with
until youunderstand. The provider should be willing andeach other's approachto dealing with your treatment.
able toexplain things so that you can understandThis is a decision that youare making for life - so
them. If you havequestions about something thatmake it a good one!!!
you have heard from a friend,read, seen on the